Zinn and the Art of Adulting: A Guide For Cyclists

It is a Monday and it is actually sunny in Scotlandshire and even more amazing there is no wind and it has hit double figures temperature wise. This has obviously meant I have been out on my bike today. Sadly, I have not as I have had to do adulting stuff today, nothing brings you back to reality faster than realizing you have to do adulting. There is not even a good guide to doing it, I desperately need a Zinn and the Art of

As fast as my return to reality was it will possibly be beaten by Geraint Thomas’ return to reality as a joint-leader at Sky for the Giro d’Italia in May. The Giro being where prospective Sky team leaders go to die, it was where Bradley Wiggins laid his grand tour dreams to rest in 2013. Possibly because there was no mystery package showed up to help his chest in this race, or because Sky finally worked out you should not use Fluimucil if you have asthma.

In the few times I have written this blog I have been fairly harsh to Sky, but to be fair they do bring it on all by themselves. Anyone who has seen David Brailsford’s attempts at semaphore will back this up.

David Brailsford brings hand gestures to parliament as he represents Sky Cycling
Trying to spin in front of the masters of spin.

Brailsford looks like he may have read a book on Tony Blair or perhaps Alistair Campbell but sadly misses the point that the rest of the world worked out their tricks nearly a decade ago now. We are now in more danger of him bring down a light aircraft on top of us than we are of him convincing us of his good intentions with his signaling. We can see in the above picture though that his hands are slowly disappearing from reality though and you can make what you want of Sky’s defense from that comment.

In order to help make you stoked on bikes, it may now be worth watching Bas Keep’s new Redbull video and wonder about how you can lose grip on your tires going along a road, never mind riding down a Croydon building. Honestly, Spiderman would be jealous of that move and if it does nothing for you, you may sadly be dead or just a bit of a bore.



If I could do half of that, I would die a happy person. Probably in a crumpled heap at the bottom of one of the wallrides but I would be happy. I have started to imagine Bas Keep setting up a ramp and riding down Adam Hansen’s seat post.

Adam Hansen's very pro road bike
This bike screams pro

What I can not get over is the fact that Hansen’s seat post looks like it had a very bad accident during marital affairs. I know we are all supposed to bow to the virtuosity of Hansen’s amazing talents but ever since MmmBop I feel his career has gone downhill, you can not hide who you are by changing the spelling.

Honestly, though all of his bike setup makes me sad, not for myself or for him but for all the poor deluded idiots who think that by sitting behind a desk 9-5, Monday to Friday that they will be able to pull off that kind of flexibility on a weekend. It is also worth perhaps noting that your bike fit changes regularly and going to shops with a fit report you had done 5 years ago will not fit you now. Also alluding to that office statement your Friday evening bike fit and Monday morning bike fit will be different.

Whilst looking at the bike picture on Bikerumor I came across this.

Bicycle rider in Portland
Cars do exist in Portland

A picture by Chris DeStefano that appears to show cars in Portland. All that I had read and all that I had been told was that Portland was a city all about bikes and that cars did not exist there. My fragile world view has now been broken forever, thank you Bikerumor. Honestly, this is depressing.

On the depressing news front, I have debated posting about Chris Grayling and his hatred of cyclists and I originally planned to ignore it on the basis of the fact he is a Tory and that means he pretty much hates everything, especially kittens. In case you need to see it here is the point where he breaks the law.

He had annoyed the cycling internet by stating that cyclists are not road users. This managed to then bring up the old road tax/ VED argument that needs a Godwin’s law attached to it for UK cycling conversations. Perhaps we can call it the Boardman principle? Cyclists get irate and shout about people not knowing where their tax money goes, well mostly it goes via big corporations to the Caribbean as even money needs a holiday and do not call it tax evasion because it really is not that and actually even if looks that way it is totally legal, so there.

Knowing the difference between VED and road tax will be a major comfort to me if I am run over. What instead may make a productive call is perhaps discussing infrastructure plans. Let us plan for bikes and cars, it could really be that simple and other countries manage it. I have even been in Eastern Europe and seen Eastern European countries manage it. Relating to this, I keep getting told that e-bikes are the future and they might be if we build infrastructure, see all the countries that sell loads of e-bikes also have cycling infrastructure. You will never sell loads of them when the general populace thinks that cycling is a life or death pursuit in which you have to dress up in neon yellow Lycra, in the vain hopes that other people will use their eyes.We want people to be able to wear jeans and jumpers and just pootle down the shops in order to buy a pack of cigarettes and not worry about dying by car, then we will truly see a cycling boom in the UK.

3 thoughts on “Zinn and the Art of Adulting: A Guide For Cyclists

  1. […] I was also pondering Scottish drivers, as a bin lorry driver had stopped at the top of a small incline, stopping traffic and allowing me to make the climb without having to cede to oncoming traffic. This set a little song off in my heart and made me a happy man. Then a nice little black Range Rover decided to make a nice close call on a blind corner, certainly got my heart going again and made me realize some things will never change. Nicely breaking rule 162 and 163 of the Highway Code but remember although he did that at some point in time, a random cyclist may  run a red light. An argument I am now calling Boardman’s principle. […]


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