We Will Make Your Brakes More Efficient

Today we have not as much a blog post as an advertorial for my new Tentacle Brake Enhancers©. These make your brake levers the most aerodynamic out there, due to their amazing Dimple Technology©. Not only that but you will be the talk of the chain gang.


Cycling brake levers.
Praise be Cthula!

As you can see my lever covers look just the thing on the Marin Nicasio. Now I could go on about propriety blends of plastic and the stiffness advantage of these covers but I am sure we have all worked out where my thoughts on marketing are going. You can however still Paypal me huge amounts of cash and I will send you a pair, if it makes you feel any better I will pop a Pinarello sticker in beside them.

The tentacles came from a family pootle along the river Kelvin,  Forth and Clyde Canal and the River Clyde, with a very important stop at The Tall Ship. Going to the Tall Ship means that the only view I have of the small person for a while is this.

Cycling to The Tall Ship
“This way parental units.”

The best thing about going for a bike ride with the small person around the waterways of Glasgow is that you can teach her the wrong name for the waterfowl. In my defense, I do try but I just can not recall all the names that I did as a child. Still, at least I did not call a swan a flamingo.

You can also enjoy copious high-fives, singing, shouting, smiling, imaginary cheese eating and just general good times. It also does not really cost anything.

Cycling around Scotland.
Confused by all the blue sky, my framing was not great.

I must be becoming one of those smug cyclists that the Daily Mail has been complaining about again. I would link to their site but I do not want to give them any more traffic.

So again I was looking through Kickstarter to bring you the products you want and I came across CYCLYK. The name instantly annoyed me, it just seems like one of those names which is trying too hard. “I want that Apple demographic”. The enxt thing that annoyed me was their gif.


The position of that phone in the picture would drive me crazy, go and climb a hill with your phone in that position. Watch your rage boil over until you take your shiny piece of tech and throw it away in disgust and then weep as you realise yu have just thrown your phone away. Even holding the hoods looks cramped with the phone in that position. I can not fathom why they have not placed it closer to the stem, although I do feel with that phone you would limiting where on your bars you could fit your hands for climbing. The only saving grace is that bike tells us it is made of carbon fibre.

Even more confusing is this GIF.


I understand using your phone if you do not have a computer or GPS unit but if you have a many hundred pound unit that carries out those functions, why do you need your smart phone on your bike as well. What can it possibly tell you that you are not already getting? Answering a phone call would be terrible, with the other end of the call just hearing “whhsjaldjssds; ;wldlsk”. The only possible reason could be that they have a Bellio bell app thingy.

2 thoughts on “We Will Make Your Brakes More Efficient

  1. I’m now not positive where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I must spend a while learning more or figuring out more. Thank you for wonderful information I was on the lookout for this information for my mission.


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